


Ignis Focī

by neeari



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Depression, Experimental Style, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-10-31 05:04:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17843006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neeari/pseuds/neeari
Summary: Lotte Yansson is taken aback when her best friend Atsuko Kagari's blazing fieriness starts to fade. After projecting her own inward tendencies onto the other girl and trying to leave her alone to cope with her feelings, Lotte realizes her mistakes and seeks to help Atsuko overcome her negative feelings, while discovering her own blossoming feelings for her friend.





	1. Chapter 1

Luna Nova had grown grey. The chill of Autumn came early that year, obscuring the skies and weaving a shroud of sloth around the witches. Looking out the closed window, she sighed, fogging up the glass. Behind her, the two other slept still. Despite them, the cold got to her. Akko’s fiery self had lately toned down; and Sucy was, well, Sucy. Back to the glass, she saw the colours – at least those were beautiful. As one could see the Autumn reflected on them, the converse was also true: greying trunks mirrored Sucy’s opaque skin, whereas the amber leaves brought her hair and Akko’s eyes together. An omen.

Shivering, she draggedly donned her garments, behind the bedposts, out of their view. Lotte had been spending some time alone, sorting her thoughts. She worried about Atsuko – what could be letting the girl down? The change made everything feel out of place. It was slow-paced, gradual, unnoticeable at first. Now, however, blatant and shocking.

In the cafeteria, Lotte held a coffee mug with both hands, nurtured by its warmth. Eyes lost, she came up with possibilities; until a second like-haired witch sat by her side, bundled up in scarves, and barged in with a

— What has been up with you three?

So it was evident. An idea. Amanda’s fieriness blazed with different hues, but it was fire all the same. Greetings said,

— Amanda… I, uh — she muttered — it’s Akko, you know. I’m worried. I don’t know what has been going on. She’s been… off, lately.

— That I knew. But you’re here. And she’s still tucked in her bed, I bet. Join the damn dots, Lotte.

Jansson stammered. What dots?

— Fuck, all right. You say you worry, yet you leave her alone. Did you ever try to, I don’t know, ask her about it?

— It’s–Jesus, it’s not that easy, okay? — offended by the brashness, but tinged by guilt. — She says she’s fine and that we should not worry. So I don’t insist. I think if she knew how worried I’ve been about her, she’d feel worse, I know Akko.

— Still. To me, it feels like abandonment.

At that, Lotte simply got up and dashed back to her room. The possibility of that… _Voi vittu._ No. In the cafeteria, the red-haired witch grinned. The point got across.


	2. Chapter 2

She entered the room abruptly. Akko, awake but still laid in bed, got up gingerly and stared at her panting friend. Immediately, Lotte threw herself over Akko, a bit too harshly. Confused by the unexpected gesture, Atsuko at first stiffened her body and tried to break away from the hug. However, she felt something weird, a motion, a noise – Lotte was sobbing. Shocked at that perception, Akko relaxed her arms and embraced the young witch, whose tears stained the shoulder of Atsuko’s pajamas. Though she had been not so good herself, Lotte now seemed blatantly worse.

— Lotte, what’s wrong? — she said, but the Finnish witch just sobbed harder and clung tighter. — Lotte! — However, Akko noticed it was better to wait until her friend felt better, before they could talk. And so she held Lotte tightly.

Slightly, Yansson loosened her embrace. Daring not to look Akko in the eyes,

— I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Akko. I… I never meant to make you feel alone. Never. I thought being by yourself would help you sort your thoughts, because that’s what it does for me… But I never actually asked you, did I? And I’m so sorry for that. — At this point, she gazed deeply into her friend’s beautiful eyes, marbled by forming tears. — I’m here for you, Akko. I’ll never leave your side.

Atsuko, wordless, sighed, trying to swallow the knot that emerged in her throat – a fruitless effort. Her dewy eyes let out a single tear. Lotte watched it slide down Akko’s cheek, and was distracted from her lack of words. That was proof it was true: she was hurting. _Ai, minun kultani!_ A shy peck – a kiss nevertheless – dissolved thus the teardrop.

Midway through the act she realized how mindless it was, and backed suddenly, blushing. Akko, however, was still frozen, staring at the fair-haired girl. _Perkele. Saatana._ I fucked it all up, she thought. The speechlessness seemed to only deepen. Until the silence was broken:

— Lotte… I, uh, — a crucifying pause, revealed to be in fact a mere search for words. — I am so sorry. I am so sorry I made you worry this much. I’ve got to come clean. — did she not even notice? And did that bring relief or disappointment? Anyways, there were more important matters.

— Please, you do not need to apologize. I care so much about you, but I got lost in my own thoughts. Only now did I realize I should have asked. Now, tell me, Akko. What’s going on? Can I be of any help?

And she was to be.


	3. Chapter 3

It is a treacherous thing. It sneaks up on you ever so slowly, and you might think it is just a natural part of growing up. After all, the world is not as exciting and new as it is when we are kids, is it now? A crushing boredom gradually imposes itself on you like a greying shroud covering the world.

The novelty of being a student of magic faded away, and so did the excitement about almost everything else. Well, it’s just like that, they say. We have to grow up, we have to become serious people. It’s funny, she thought. All laughter and joy becomes dulled down, and that’s alright. How comes, then, the ever-present underlying sorrow so often breaks the ice and surfaces, breaking the floodgates? It all seemed so out of balance.

She often found herself lost in thought, looking through the window over her study to the grey clouds out below, while a knot manifested in her throat for no apparent reason. She often found herself immobilized beneath a comforter, as if it were made of stone. She often found herself incapable of listening to a word from her teachers in class, thanks to the rapturing reveries that stole her away from the material world, and locked her within her own mind. And it was all so tiresome.

A moment came where the cold, harsh truths of the world hit her. Underperformance became less of a character quirk and more of a deep flaw. It had to change if she wanted to get anywhere. However, it had always been a bit hard for her to fit in. Though she had her fair share of success, the price had too often been humiliation. Maybe her roots were getting to her; after all, she came from a culture riddled with overachievers. Maybe her sense of responsibility had finally matured. Maybe.

But it hurt. It hurt so much. Nevertheless, she didn’t want it to show. Sucy was a very abrasive person, which she feared would pick on her only make her hurt more. Lotte, on the other hand, was well intentioned, but Akko did not want her to worry. She felt thus alone and lost in a foreign world, and often considered going back home. How her parents would react after spending so much to get her there in the first place, however, was another greatly frightening thought.

That’s why she felt so warm-hearted when the fair-haired witch embraced her, why tears so easily sprang from her eyes when Lotte’s kind words touched her heart, and why she froze when the girl kissed her cheek so softly. Or so she thought.

Though she felt a stinging guilt from being unsuccessful in keeping Lotte from worrying, it was all such a relief. Such a huge relief. She was loved; she had someone that cared about her. Someone who would help her out of the pit she had fallen into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i attempted to employ a change of point-of-view and a break in narrative structure in order to reveal akko's side of the story. i don't know if it fit so well, though; nor if i am going to further employ different povs over the rest of the story. comments are welcome!


End file.
